Yeah, so....Can midlife crises happen in your late fifties? Lately I have been considering my life, my habits, experiences, future and desires. The Lord has begun to reveal to me how many of the "good things" I do are more relating to "my" benefits than to glorifying Him. Hmph. As I speculated, the term "Bohemian" came to my mind. Wait. What? Why? (My idea of Bohemian mostly had to do with a "Little Rascals" episode where this giant native guy who had dreadlocks and a bone through his nose kept repeating, "Yum yum! Eat 'em up!" That could be lots of guys now, but that's the picture I got.) So, I looked it up.
Bohemian: (loosely translated) a person who lives an unconventional life, in appearance and behavior.
Okay, so there were other definitions, but this definition fit my situation. You see, I have lived a very conventional, exemplary life. My actions have always been above reproach, acceptable to all, always meeting the expectations of others. And that's what counts, right? What we DO? Sadly, while I was polishing the outside, the inside of me was stagnating and corroding. Oh, I looked like Christ all right. Always. But the "who" of me....Who was I really? Who did I strive to please most? Who did I seek to glorify? Really, really and truly? I dusted off my mirror from James 1 where I'm encouraged to detect the smudge of my face and remove it. Cautiously I approached. This time, not a quick glance and then on my way. No, this time I spent some time there, looking deeply. The Lord stood over my shoulder and pointed out a few things upon which I was reluctant to focus. He held my hand to keep me in place there. A longer look....there was a lot......ugly, selfish, prideful things. I gave attention to my heart and His heart and how different they were. We adjusted some areas, eliminated others. Whew. Then, we looked again at that spiritual mirror that revealed more than I wanted to see....Suddenly, I realized I needed change. I WANTED change.
Bohemia seemed far, far away......
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