Bohemia or bust!

OK. So, I live on the perfectionistic side of of life. All things must be correct, balanced, accurate, timely, detailed, fair and planned! And all of you need to meet those guidelines as well.....just so you know. Life should be predictable and explainable, well organized and controlled. There is a "just right" evaluation for every situation, every meal, every activity, relationship, occupation, home and project. Every person, every thing has a sort of check list. We have to measure up, right? And how will we know our rankings if we don't have a measuring stick (perfection) to go by? This is how I live. Now, it's not an obvious act on my part. It's more of an undercurrent, an unobservable attitude than anything I realized was happening. Consequently, there is rarely happiness or satisfaction because the requirements are never met. Sick, right? It makes me so tired.....I am weary of trying to live by the expectations I put on myself (and everyone else); expectations that not even God requires. This has to stop. I must escape from this cocoon of excellence that binds me. It is not satisfying to be adequate. I push to be exceptional. I leave no freedom for the Holy Spirit to work. It is my pride that pushes me, not my desire to demonstrate my love for the Lord or a desire to glorify Him. How does one who is so bound up escape? It takes drastic measures. You have to go to Bohemia......My thinking is, in order to find some middle ground, you have to go way past where you are comfortable, past where you've ever gone before, Wild and crazy? No. Well, maybe. I am ready to go from conventional to unconventional, from expected to unexpected, from familiar to unfamiliar. Does that mean swaying from my dedication to the Lord or dishonoring Him? Of course not. If anything, my desire is to honor Him more as He makes needful changes in me. It means moving from my control and desires to allow Him to make determinations about who I am and what I do. It's refreshing as I think about it, actually. It will surely be wonderful to let someone else manage me for a while....

Next....Bohemian baby steps....finally!