Bohemian baby steps....finally...

So where do I start? What's next? How do I make the move from conventional to Bohemian? As I asked myself these questions, the answer came rather quickly. Service. It is how we show love, by serving. Before my new "Bohemian" efforts, service was well-planned. I decided what to do, for whom it would be done, the time schedule involved (wouldn't want to be inconvenienced, ya know), etc. When the Lord would approach me with an unplanned opportunity, it was difficult for me. I refused to recognize that people's needs are unpredictable, difficult to schedule.....Service was more about making me feel good about what I was doing than how much it served others. Wow. Then, the Lord planted a little, easy to digest idea. I should offer my services as a gift. My education and background is in counseling/life coaching. But for many who needed my help, dedicating money to something like that is so far down the priority list, it often drops off the backside, never to be seen again. And yet, it can be so life-changing. SO! It will be my gift of service. I will make myself available to talk, counsel or just listen as a gift. Return gifts will be accepted, but not expected. I grappled with this idea and finally showed up where the Lord had already arrived. Then my instincts kicked in. First I need a website, and I need to update my LinkedIn account. Also, I need to set up a schedule to  make things flow smoothly. I might need a new computer. Should I give out my personal phone number or get a new number/phone? Facebook! And here we go again!! The Lord suggested we just put it out there and see what happens. He feels He can handle whatever comes up. He will work out the details. He knows where this idea will go and who will be helped/served. So.....I don't do any planning, Lord? Not possible. Well, possible, but very difficult. But ok. I'm game (loosely translated, "I will trust You."). And so, without great fanfare (or planning) I'm putting it out there, to you, my facebook/blog-reading friends. If you know anyone who needs someone to talk to, I'd love to listen. Message me on FB.

Rather unconventional, dont you think? Sorta.....Bohemian?

Bohemia or bust!

OK. So, I live on the perfectionistic side of of life. All things must be correct, balanced, accurate, timely, detailed, fair and planned! And all of you need to meet those guidelines as well.....just so you know. Life should be predictable and explainable, well organized and controlled. There is a "just right" evaluation for every situation, every meal, every activity, relationship, occupation, home and project. Every person, every thing has a sort of check list. We have to measure up, right? And how will we know our rankings if we don't have a measuring stick (perfection) to go by? This is how I live. Now, it's not an obvious act on my part. It's more of an undercurrent, an unobservable attitude than anything I realized was happening. Consequently, there is rarely happiness or satisfaction because the requirements are never met. Sick, right? It makes me so tired.....I am weary of trying to live by the expectations I put on myself (and everyone else); expectations that not even God requires. This has to stop. I must escape from this cocoon of excellence that binds me. It is not satisfying to be adequate. I push to be exceptional. I leave no freedom for the Holy Spirit to work. It is my pride that pushes me, not my desire to demonstrate my love for the Lord or a desire to glorify Him. How does one who is so bound up escape? It takes drastic measures. You have to go to Bohemia......My thinking is, in order to find some middle ground, you have to go way past where you are comfortable, past where you've ever gone before, Wild and crazy? No. Well, maybe. I am ready to go from conventional to unconventional, from expected to unexpected, from familiar to unfamiliar. Does that mean swaying from my dedication to the Lord or dishonoring Him? Of course not. If anything, my desire is to honor Him more as He makes needful changes in me. It means moving from my control and desires to allow Him to make determinations about who I am and what I do. It's refreshing as I think about it, actually. It will surely be wonderful to let someone else manage me for a while....

Next....Bohemian baby steps....finally!

Bohemian flunky....

I have always lived my life in such a predictable way. Always follow the rules. Always have a plan. Always do what's right. Always be an example. Always keep your word. Always meet (exceed) expectations. Always. All honorable endeavors. But WHY? In my mind all of it was for God's glory. Of course. Why else? My actions point others to God, right? Then.....the epiphany.....I was on my way to church. I was headed there early because I was scheduled for the praise team, worship team, whatever your church calls it. All I know is I would be out front with a mic. I didn't know the songs as well as I liked and wouldn't have music in front of me. I was stressing and "calling out to the Lord"! I was concerned about messing up the music. I didn't like what I was wearing. I wasn't sure everybody would approve of the music selected. I just knew God didn't want me to stress like this. I must have made a mistake when I joined the choir. On and on....Then the Lord asked me, "Which of these troublesome issues are stressing you because of your concern they will dishonor Me?" BOOM! Wha....well.....ummm...Man. I was nailed right there in the middle of Kempsville Road. NONE! I was totally consumed with how everyone would look at me. What they would think of me. There was absolutely no thought in my brain of glorifying God. Whoa. Back up and check the rearview. Has my whole life been this? In the deepest recesses of my heart? I love God. I want to serve Him. But as I stood before the mirror again....Things needed to change. Bohemia! Here I come!

Bohemian wanna-be (part one)

Yeah, so....Can midlife crises happen in your late fifties? Lately I have been considering my life, my habits, experiences, future and desires. The Lord has begun to reveal to me how many of the "good things" I do are more relating to "my" benefits than to glorifying Him. Hmph. As I speculated, the term "Bohemian" came to my mind. Wait. What? Why? (My idea of Bohemian mostly had to do with a "Little Rascals" episode where this giant native guy who had dreadlocks and a bone through his nose kept repeating, "Yum yum! Eat 'em up!" That could be lots of guys now, but that's the picture I got.) So, I looked it up.

     Bohemian: (loosely translated) a person who lives an unconventional life, in appearance and behavior.

Okay, so there were other definitions, but this definition fit my situation. You see, I have lived a very conventional, exemplary life. My actions have always been above reproach, acceptable to all, always meeting the expectations of others. And that's what counts, right? What we DO? Sadly, while I was polishing the outside, the inside of me was stagnating and corroding. Oh, I looked like Christ all right. Always. But the "who" of me....Who was I really? Who did I strive to please most? Who did I seek to glorify? Really, really and truly? I dusted off my mirror from James 1 where I'm encouraged to detect the smudge of my face and remove it. Cautiously I approached. This time, not a quick glance and then on my way. No, this time I spent some time there, looking deeply. The Lord stood over my shoulder and pointed out a few things upon which I was reluctant to focus. He held my hand to keep me in place there. A longer look....there was a lot......ugly, selfish, prideful things. I gave attention to my heart and His heart and how different they were. We adjusted some areas, eliminated others. Whew. Then, we looked again at that spiritual mirror that revealed more than I wanted to see....Suddenly, I realized I needed change. I WANTED change.

Bohemia seemed far, far away......