inside-out.....

So it's been 3 years since I posted on this blog site. That's about the time that my gentle little life took such a tailspin that didn't know which way was up. (I actually experienced that phenomenon at the beach once when a wave tossed me. I could not figure out where my feet should be to get my head above water. I was tumbling and did not know if I was upside down or right side up, very disoriented. And that's an apt description of what was happening in my life....) Jeff (husband) was in a terrible accident in Atlanta, mid-February. He really should have died, but God had different plans. With extensive injuries (broken leg, 12 broken ribs, cracked pelvis, several discs in his spine injured, bruised heart to name a few), he was in intensive care at Emory for several days and remained in the hospital down there over a week (They released him to come home and wait for the swelling to go down in his leg before he could have surgery.). We came home to begin recovery only to have it interrupted with leg surgery. Then recovery began in earnest. It was a slow process and difficult for both of us. With Jeff finally back on his feet (as well as he ever would be) I had a few months reprieve before Daddy suddenly went home to be with the Lord. That changed my life. I experienced grief unlike any I'd ever known. Growing past that trauma was painful and slow. Less than a year after Dad's death, Mom began to develop health difficulties, culminating with a heart condition where her prognosis was that she had 2 days to 2 months left to live. For nine months, we lived under this shadow until God changed the plans on us and she began her road back to good health. Then she decided it was time to sell her home. When Dad died, his absence was painfully obvious there at "Granny's and Papa's". But at least we had that gathering place where we could come together and be a family. Moving her from her home was another life changer. Then I lost my job. Actually, I was fired. Another new experience for me. And it was one of "those" situations. I tried hard to be a brave soldier. God's in control. Everything has a purpose. Sure. But I was hurting and now had a new mountain to climb. Then you throw in typical life situations, relationships, finances, health, etc and all of it has brought me to where I am now. I have arrived at a place. I am not sure where it is. But the Lord is with me here. And He has impressed on me that I am to share what I have learned/am learning. Openly. Authentically. Completely. We are still negotiating on just how completely he will require me to be, but this blog is my first step. I want to share with you. My struggles can help you. Learning from me will be encouraging, revealing and hopefully will save you trauma that I had to experience to learn. Please do not be confused. I have not arrived. He is not done molding, training and disciplining me yet. It's just that as part of further growth for me, I must share. So be it.