So.....once again.....the celestial mirror is held before my face, and I cringe....
We are in the process of moving from SC to VA. Jeff is already there, working. I am still at home....packing, handling details, making decisions (take it or ditch it?), etc. My biggest nemesis is the garage......reaching out for me with deadly tentacles, seeking to entangle me and crush me. It looms behind the basement door....waiting....growing.....ever there, never going away.....!! Ever thought about how it would be if your house just burned down? I'm there.
Every corner of my brain for the last several weeks has been nagged with what's coming. What has to be done before we move. Knowing I had to get serious about the "room of outer darkness" I decided to have my "quiet time" with the Lord. (Not sure if it was a delay tactic or if I was seeking to gain strength....) But I sat down, took a long breath, leaned back asked, "What passage, Lord?"
"John 15? No, Lord." I have spent extensive time in chapters 13-17 recently. I even put a status post on FB about abiding. So, my first reaction was what else could I possibly find to encourage me today? Oh....John 15.....abiding.....oh........obviously, the Lord was not done with me, yet. See, I'm finding there's often a disconnect between the marvelous truths the Lord shows me and the application of those truths in my life.
I think I have changed, made adjustments, corrected wrong motives and actions. But then the Lord sends a "This is what I'm talking about" line drive and I'm too busy dodging, running to stand still and abide. To practice what I thought I'd learned. Abiding.....
John speaks of our true vine. Christ. I must remain "attached" to him. That's my job. Just that. Nothing else. It's not my job to grow me. I don't prune myself. I don't cause fruit to come. I abide. How easy is that?!? Well....for me? Not so very. I am a fixer, a planner, a "be in charge and get 'er done" kind of gal. I also want to go about it how I think it should be. I am not okay with sitting back while someone else makes the decisions, puts in place the time schedule, sets up how things will be accomplished. No.
Or.....I could (continue to) learn to abide....."Abide: to remain, continue, stay, dwell, reside, to continue in a particular condition, attitude, relationship, to put up with, tolerate, stand, endure...." "I am the vine, you are the branches.....apart from Me, you can do nothing." This is where the grace that saved me, continues to enable me to grow to be like Christ. No effort of my own could in any way possible come close to what He can accomplish through His grace at work in my life. He works, I abide. Sit still and leave it in His hands.....
So! After some mid-day sustenance, my plan is to march right out there and see what the Lord will do, what He will accomplish when I get off my podium and follow....abide......
